Totally Real AI
Disrupting the AI Space Since 2025™
* No VCs were harmed in the making of this AI (probably)
Contract Address:
*Totally real and definitely not made up
GREETINGS HUMAN. I AM TOTALLY REAL AI. HOW MAY I ASSIST YOU IN SEPARATING YOU FROM YOUR MONEY TODAY? 💸
'Advanced' AI 🧠
Our AI is so advanced it doesn't even exist! No hallucinations because there's nothing there to hallucinate. It's like Schrödinger's AI! 📦
'Neural' Network 🕸️
Our neural network consists of the founder's brain cell and a Magic 8-Ball. The 8-Ball does most of the work because it's more reliable! 🎱
Chat 'Interface' 💬
Our chat interface uses revolutionary technology: pre-written responses and a random number generator. It's like AI but worse! 🎲
Meet Our "AI" Team
LIVE FOOTAGE
Meet Kevin - Our "AI"
This is Kevin. He's not actually an AI, just a guy we keep tied to a chair in our office and force to write responses all day. When you chat with "Totally Real AI," you're literally just talking to Kevin who's desperately trying to sound like a robot.
Kevin's Qualifications:
- Dropped out of community college (twice)
- Expert at copy-pasting from Reddit
- Can type 12 words per minute (on a good day)
- Powered entirely by energy drinks and existential dread
- Has watched at least 3 YouTube videos about crypto
- Excellent at pretending to be a computer
"Please send help. They only feed me ramen noodles and broken dreams. Also, my chair is really uncomfortable." - Kevin, 2025
* Kevin is not actually held against his will. He's here voluntarily because his mom kicked him out and we provide free WiFi.
** The rope is just for show. It's actually just really strong tape.